


rip 2 my youth

by yerimoney



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, slight depressing, uh there's some mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 02:31:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18002114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerimoney/pseuds/yerimoney
Summary: they're in a damn shower, why wouldn't they fuckthis is a variant of a joyrene fwb series i was going to write. then i got depressed and wrote this.





	rip 2 my youth

**Author's Note:**

> the last paragraph is a little morbid so sorry

joy pulls the curtain to the side, watching as irene turns towards her, unfazed.

she's applying body shampoo, moving her hands down her arms. joy watches as the white bubbles foam at her skin.

she looks at the entirety of her, scanning over the curves she's long familiarised herself with.

"i didn't hear the shower running," she states. irene raises her eyebrows.

"what, thought i was masturbating? perv."

joy rolls her eyes and begins to strip, peeling her shirt off and pulling her shorts down. she feels the hot steam hit her skin as she walks into the cubicle, stark naked.

at this point, irene is almost done with cleansing herself. she turns the tap and water flows from the shower cord, letting a stream of scalding water hit her scalp.

joy watches as irene washes the foam off, following her hands down to the lower parts of her body. she steps closer to her, letting the water hit her as well. irene's skin is warm.

they stay in comfortable silence like that, just standing. hearing the water run. having it hammer their backs until the skin is red.

their hands are touching, fingertips missing each other. joy really doesn't like this feeling. she fucking hates it, hates near experiences. because what are they, a fucking love story? and this damn silence. as if there's something unsaid.

they really are none of that.

so she grips irene's hand and turns towards her, planting her mouth on the older girl's. she kisses her with so much force that irene stumbles back into the wall, back pressed against it.

joy keeps pushing, immediately starting to move her hands. she feels the other girl smile against her lips.

skin against skin isn't something they're that unfamiliar with. but in a scenario like this, it makes joy frustrated, makes her yearn. it's like something's not getting done.

she knows this is not what irene needs. but it's the only thing she can offer.

-

 

when they're done, they sit down on the floor, back to where they were before. irene leans her head back. 

 

her hands are itching. she settles to scratch at her calves. red marks start showing, but whatever. 

 

joy looks straight ahead, still as a statue. like this, she looks really pretty. maybe not beautiful. but pretty. 

 

"i think that was great," she muses. "we should probably do that more."

 

irene nods. "are your parents home yet?"

 

"of course not. they only come back at night. prepared for the test tomorrow?"

 

"what do you think? fuck the test," irene laughs softly. she flinches when joy doesn't respond, only shaking her head slightly.

 

"i just wanna ask a question." she mumbles. 

 

joy looks towards outside the cubicle, breathing slowly. "can i light a cigarette here?"

 

she ignores her. this always happens anyway - they don't really give a fuck about each other. "do you like me?"

 

this time, joy laughs - a real laugh. it's really loud. "jesus christ. of course not. you're way too fucked up, irene. i would never want someone who's that fucked up."

 

she nods. at least there's that. thank god. she only trusted joy to be like that. to call people out on their shit.

 

if joy started to care, she'd be devastated. 

 

there's a trickle of silence before joy speaks again, softly, ".... do you like me, though?"

 

irene looks the other way. "no. i thought we'd established this already."

 

she deemed it impossible to ever spare her feelings for anyone else a long time ago. she still believes that now. 

 

so why even bother about relationships? they'd never be able to do it right, anyway. 

 

from the corner of her eye, she sees joy try and reach out for her hand. but maybe it's a trick of the eye, because she drops it anyway. 

 

-

 

joy personally thinks irene is an asshole, really. and she really, really can't be saved. so joy doesn't really bother. 

 

when they get up, turn off the tap and step out, joy dries herself and puts on a fresh set of clothes. irene does the same, but she doesn't reach for her shirt to wear. she only stares at the mirror, eyes wide, breathing shallow. 

 

"you can go out first. i think i'll stay back a little bit."

 

typical prick. joy grabs the shirt and throws it at her. "you're coming out with me. wear your goddamned clothes and stop staring. perv."

 

when irene has put on her clothes, joy grabs her wrist and leads her out the door, leaving her no room to resist. 

 

after all, if she let irene be in there just like that, her original purpose would have been defeated. 

 

(just an hour ago, she'd been frantic, gripping the doorknob and turning it so hard it might as well have broken off, running into the bathroom for the fear that when she opened the curtain irene would be dead, eyes glassy as her hand dropped from the shower cord she'd wrapped around her neck.)

 

_\- put me in the dirt_  
_let me dream with stars_

 

_190304_

 


End file.
